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    Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle
    Posted on Fri, April 17, 2009 by LordCeb
    Icarus writes "Made up of Rhennee barges that come and go seasonally, The Laughing Turtle is one of the more unique taverns in all of the Flanaess. Just as the fare changes along with the barges that make it up, one never knows what perfidy can be found when coins change hands at The Laughing Turtle.

    The Laughing Turtle
    By Icarus


    The Lake is our life. The waters give us all that we could ask of life. We are born, live and die on our barges, and the umbilical cords of our children plunge into the Lake of Unknown Depths. They are not simply “the water” as so many gajo call them. The Waters give us life, they tell us of the future, and they guide us out of the past into the rest of our lives.

    Our people do not believe that we ever truly leave each other; we say our partings like anyone else, but there is no word for “goodbye” in our language. Many know that we congregate in communities with those of our own homeland; each one a brother, sister or cousin. We find each other whenever we can and always offer each other company and companionship… and the result is most often celebration. Among the places we most often find each other is the MidBay region of the Nyr Dyv.

    We gather here in small, out of the way coves and bays that dot the coastline of The Lake. Each one is like a cozy little room to us, where one can visit intimately with those close to their heart. The shore isn’t important, and when other barges are near, we dock the barges to each other with mooring lines, tethering them into a small flotilla. That is where I find my heart pulling me now. I have been away from the Lake for too long. I have spent long weeks among the barges of Barge End, on the Eastern banks of the Selintan outside the Free City of Greyhawk. While that too is still a place we find each other, it is a drab, downtrodden feeling there. It is not as free as when we are upon the Waters of the Lake. And so, I go to meet my vica; my extended family, my people. I am of the bargeman, and my name is Meritaelin Vindreşkaya, and I shall take you with me on my journey.



    What Meets the Eye


    The sizable barge I am aboard hugs the coast of MidBay, the wind in the large ribbed sails pushes the barge at a tranquil pace, but the capo orders them brought down, and we will pole into the cove. I can already see the uneven line of the kumpania barges all tied together, but the occasional warm shine of lacquered teak shines amid the flat grayish-brown of most of the lug-rigged wooden barges. Each one varies in size, but on average the barges are about 30’ to 45’ along their length, and 15’ across their beam. The smallest among them have 15 to 20 family members aboard, while the largest may have near 45. A small handful of barges are tremendous at nearly 100’ long and are home to several families. They are rare in the extreme, but are viewed as being very popular as they have a reputation for being among the most enjoyable to be upon, and often have the largest celebrations when they dock with other barges.

    The barges are facing different directions, loosely lashed to each other side-by-side, or fore and aft, making a large floating platform of sorts - a flotilla whose flat-bottomed boats change with the season. Though some that stay to the outer edges and ready to sail, others are deeply lodged in the mass of barges, and there is no way to know which will be there at any given time. There are always the sounds of the barges: the clanking of lanyards, the gunwales bumping together, and the waters gently lapping at the sideboards. The sound of the crowd surmounts everything – shouting of the capo, the calls of the fishmongers, the music being played, and the laughter of children. These are all the sounds of the Rhennee.

    We call this kumpania “The Laughing Turtle”. The central bulk of barges are at the center of the Laughing Turtle, with about five clusters of barges arranged around the outer edges of the center, but still adjoining and moored to the others. There are usually about six to eight barges in the outer groups, and perhaps ten to a dozen more at the center. In this shape, it gives the impression of looking somewhat like a turtle, which is a very special creature to us. There are many myths and legends surrounding turtles in our culture, and they are involved in many mystic rituals. There are even methods of divination that involve reading the lines of a turtle’s shell. Even in our language, the word for catching a turtle is the same as used for taking a woman.

    Though the kumpania as a whole is known as the Laughing Turtle, each of the barges that comprise it has its own name. A few of the barges often found in the Laughing Turtle are notable enough that their names known even among the gajo, whether for their food, history, or for the people that live aboard them. Some of them include:

    Red Gar's Tooth – When visiting this barge, I always know that I can find its owner, Gregorio Besant, selling all sorts of goods. He is known for buying just about anything and often doesn’t ask questions about from where they came or to whom they may have once belonged. Even the gajo know that if something is stolen, it can sometimes be bought back on the Red Gar’s Tooth, as long as the original owner doesn’t make a scene about it and just pays the asking price. There is a man that seems to live aboard that doesn’t give the impression of being Rhennee. He is what the gajo might call a “bum”, but is always near to Gregorio and is never heard to speak.

    Jovial Giant - The Rhen-folk of the Jovial Giant are known for their carousing. It is one of the largest barges in the flotilla (at nearly 100’ long) and bargemen of its njamo are often as drunk as can be. On this particular visit, I find many of them sitting shirtless around a barrel playing a Rhennee dice game called turoo. Mostly, they are trying to entice gajo to play, so that they might swindle money out of the foolish or unwary. By Rhennee custom, anything that is earned is given in lovoro. This is to say that it is split evenly among all those of that barge, as is all the money of a family. There is a festival air surrounding the Jovial Giant. It is like a foros, a marketplace or fair. This is due in large part to the music that is constantly played. Violins, tambours, small hand-held drums, whistles, castanets and cymbals all are played together in a loose improvisation. I take the time whenever I am aboard to stop and play my flute with them. It is a great joy to make music, and it shows the spirit of my people and their love of life.

    Slashing Wyrm – The men of this barge are known for being daring fishermen, and often lure great beasts from the depths like 10’ long, 500lb ramfish, or even giant squids. Though the barge has actually been destroyed several times by fighting with terrible sea creatures, it is recommissioned each time with the same name. The Slashing Wyrm is known for some of the best shark steaks around.

    Falconer's Mast – An oddity among Rhennee, the capo of this barge spent time among the gajo and learned the art of Falconry. Because of his aerie of birds of prey, this barge often has game birds as part of its regular menu. It makes a good deal of money trading the birds, and serving poultry dishes that aren’t often found among the Rhennee.

    Tarnished Rose – It is common knowledge among the kumpania’s inhabitants that the Tarnished Rose is cursed. Its family is burdened by a Mother’s pain. Dooriya Martinov seeks revenge for the death of her son (see below), and the barge is avoided, except for those who come for the renowned risotto that is served here.

    Mystic Gate – Though this barge hasn’t been seen in quite a long time, it is said that it has been known to travel many places other than the rivers. It is said that it sails among the stars on certain nights, when the constellations are in alignment. On others, it is said to slip through the mists into completely other worlds.[1]

    To Please the Palette and Gullet

    As the wind crosses the deck, I can smell a dozen different scents, each making my mouth water and setting my mind to the marvelous dishes that will be set before me. Although they are typically looked upon as scoundrels and worse, the Rhennee who find their home here serve some of the best seafood in the Flanaess. The menu varies from barge to barge, and is dependent on the catch. Some meals are no more than a small sandwich served in waxed paper, but there are a few that are full course services that are attended by waitstaff.

    Obviously, much of the diet of the Rhennee comes from the rivers and lakes. They eat all kinds of fish, as well as freshwater mussels, clams and make dishes even from kelp and other water plants. They trade with gajo for other food that is not found on the water, such as grains for making bread, red meats, vegetables and liquor. A few of the customary foodstuffs found at the Laughing Turtle are:

    • Flounder
    with sautéed, buttered onions and mushrooms, seasoned with paprika and taragon in a light cream sauce.

    • Eel seafood risotto – Flaked eel, prawns and freshwater mussels sautéed in white wine with onions, mushrooms and garlic, and served with rice and seasoned with paprika, pimento and pepper, topped with grated cheese and parsley.

    • Crayfish - boiled and seasoned, and eaten whole, sometimes served with other seafood. Ears of corn, new potatoes, onions, and heads of garlic are usually included in crawfish boils. Some Rhennee will add smoked sausage links and/or mushrooms. Lemons and melted butter are usually available.

    • Green Fairy -
    Rhennee are noted for their raucous revelry, and for the liquor that they drink. They are a vivacious people, and there are many drinks and drinking games that permeate Rhennee lore. One drink in particular though, is only found among them. It is a derivative of Absinthe and has other colloquial names, but all of them refer in some way to its common name. (Emerald Dryad, Viridian Pixie, Jade Nymph, or if it’s served straight up without the normal serving ritual, Green Hag).

    Rather than being made from the wormwood tree; it is made from the exotic Phostwood trees. The trees hold special properties that make them glow green when they decay, and it is that same phosphorous quality that gives the liquor its magical nature. In addition to its normal strong alcoholic effects and known hallucinogenic qualities[2], there are accounts of its users being subsumed into their own dreams, or of their dreams becoming reality.

    The group of Rhennee known as the Red Planks is typically known for smuggling the Green Fairy to the Laughing Turtle. They sail their barges along the Artonsamay River in the Bandit Kingdoms, though it is unknown whether they do trade with those who make it, or if they gather the Photswood themselves and distill it in an undisclosed location. There are rumors of a Pholtan ex-paladin that supplies the wood for it, despite it being sacred in the Pale.

    What Goes on at the Laughing Turtle


    I take a small step off the waterlogged walkway and onto one of the barges. There are quite a few people dining here. It’s one of the barges that cater to the folk of the shore. The gajo are whiling away their time, and they don’t even realize that every word they say is heard and everything they do is watched. Even as I walk amongst the crowded tables, they are foolish enough to think that I am not listening. Many of their conversations are innocuous enough, but some of them are filled with rumors and tales of local happenings that might be useful to the Negotiators, so I listen as I pass, careful not to let my eyes fall upon those that I listen to lest they be alerted to my prying ears.[3]

    A handsome young man stares over the cards of an old crone who tells him of his fortune. Sadly, I think of all the times that she has not liked the tip a patron has offered. She has been known to take retribution on them; bestowing curses, causing men to contract wasting diseases, visiting their dreams, or even causing them to be visited by their own nightmares and having a heart attack. She has even been known to force her will upon another, and make them do strange things, all as punishment for insulting her and her people. She is the type of woman that gives the myth and mystique to the yokki fortune tellers of my people.

    A pair of very young dilettantes whispers together and shifts their eyes about as if looking to meet someone. They think that they have dressed in common enough garb to make them look like they belong. They’re wrong, because the homespun wool they wear isn’t worn at the edges, nor do they reek of not bathing, as a sailing woman would. They are clearly among those who come to our kumpania seeking the famed brewing skills of the Rhennee. Not as ale-makers, but as potion makers. They come to buy things like Love Potions and wards against evil. Harmless trinkets and charms are often passed off to the unwary as items of magical power. We have no compunction about deceiving the gajo, but we do not treat each other that way. The gajo may be stolen from, lied to, and cheated. But, amongst our own, that is grounds for banishment: to be forever severed from one’s own people and the freedom found on The Waters.

    A miner with a long drooping moustache and a man who bears the air of an adventurer discuss golden orbs buried nearby. There is local talk that the Rhennee always hide the orbs that they steal in wooden chests in local coves and bays. As the story goes, there are dozens of treasure hoards lying about. That miner, a local scoundrel named Artemis Olver, will lead anyone who pays him a finder's fee to a false treasure chest he's planted just beyond the beach. Once away from the cove, he will lead them to an otyugh’s lair, where they will find a small ship that was wrecked and washed into a small cave. He will lead them toward an area that he believes will collapse and expose the otyugh, bringing it rushing out, though he will remain barely out of the way and find a way to flee during the attack. After any survivors of the ambush have been subdued, he will return to split the loot with his partners. Olver has been following this plan for a number of months and suspicion is beginning to fall on him.

    I watch as an attractive woman serves a gullible man a bowl of Soup of the Seven Seas, and laughs a little too loud and dabbles at his chin with a cloth napkin, and then lays the bright red linen across his shoulder and flirts with him. Not only does that mark him to those who are watching, but she’ll keep that as a way to scry on him so that her cohorts will know when to rob his house. They will often wait until they are about to set sail, and then burgle several homes in one night.

    On the gunwales of a particular barge I notice a man who has a very sour reputation among us. He is rumored to have once worked with a man named Jontaer Greymist, who was secretly a priest of Iuz. There are old tales of the Rhennee cooperating with slavers, though no Rhennee would ever admit to it. This man in particular targeted hobniz and sold them into slavery. Though none can prove it these days, the stories say that he fled for his life, but that he still works with men who would abduct those who have fallen too far into their cups and aren’t able to defend themselves. On a dark night, when no one is around to witness it, one should beware who follows him home.

    A rambunctious, vibrantly dressed, mustachioed man sings and plays music for the dancing women, but his easy attitude belies a dangerous truth. Many are the Rhennee who turn to smuggling to turn a profit, but among those, there are some who trade in goods that are not simply illegal, but also lethal. Vassago Marchiosas is one such man. He enchants passers-by with fantastic tales of his travels, indiscretions in ladies’ bed chambers and glorious adventures on the rivers, but if you ask him about his travels to distant Ratik, he will show you what his true business is other than entertainment. The word in the vilest of Greyhawk’s dives is that such a request will garner you an invitation into the cabin of his barge, where behind closed doors, a viewer see displayed an assortment of exotic substances, both lethal and merely incapacitating.

    An old legend among the Rhennee tells of a burial that had tragic consequences for one particular family. Dooriya Martinov seeks revenge for her son’s death. She was a Vetha that was buried at sea (stitched inside sailcloth and weighted with prized personal belongings) and became an aquatic mummy. She is a legend in the area of the Laughing Turtle. Dooriya sought vengeance on the men of her kumpania, who took her son on a pearl diving foray, when he stumbled on a pack of seawolves while wandering off to search for a rumored lair full of treasure and was mauled. He also lurks somewhere beneath the waves as a “Drowned” (Monster Manual III, p.46).

    Whenever I have visited my vica of the Laughing Turtle, I have found all manner of scandal and intrigue. There is never a lack of things going on, and sometimes is difficult to keep track of everything. But, I am here as your guide, gajo. If you stay close and listen to what I tell you of the Rhennee, you will learn much of our ways. You merely have to experience a culture that is not yours, and learn to see us as the creatures of The Waters that we are. They are our home, and we want nothing more than to live our lives upon them. I bid you latcho dromardipe … a good journey.

    Note:

    [1] If a DM uses the Spelljammer setting, the Mystic Gate has a Minor Spelljamming Helm aboard, although its crew is careful to only use it out of sight of others. If the Planescape setting is used or planar travel is needed, the barge may have a gate or teleportation effect permanently on it or from a magical item its crew possesses. Optionally the Rhennee might actually be Vistani in disguise and they have a link to the Ravenloft setting.

    [2] Fortitude Save DC 14, and if the character becomes subject to alcohol poisoning, even with a successful save, there is an equal chance that the character is subjected to spell-like effects such as Dream Travel, Alter Self, Shadow Conjuration, Shadow Evocation or Phantasmal Killer, bringing their alcohol-induced dreams to life. (See The Arms and Equipment Guide, p.32 for rules on Alcohol and Intoxication.) If the DM treats Green Fairy as a drug, it is mechanically identical to Mordayn Vapor (“Dreammist”), with the exception of the Overdose, which becomes the chance of spell-like effects. (See the Book of Vile Darkness for more on Drugs, for mature audiences only.)

    [3] Any of the following may be heard by PCs as rumors. If they succeed on a Gather Information check, randomly roll among them and describe the information to the player as something they overheard from one of the Rhennee. For example, they might be told by a young boy who distrusts elders, “Watch out for that woman who sits in the corner … she may seem to be telling fortunes, but she will put a curse on you …”
    "
     
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    Re: Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle (Score: 1)
    by mortellan on Sat, May 02, 2009
    (User Info | Send a Message)



    Re: Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle (Score: 1)
    by mortellan on Sat, May 02, 2009
    (User Info | Send a Message)
    As I was saying, well done Icarus. I know you worked long nights on this so the pay off is pretty awesome. Your unique cultural feel should be something to build on in future articles too. Kudos!


    ]


    Re: Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle (Score: 1)
    by Cebrion on Sat, May 02, 2009
    (User Info | Send a Message | Journal)
    Not bad for afirst effort! Bloody horrible art though.  I KEED!  I KEED!  :D



    Re: Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle (Score: 1)
    by Cebrion on Sat, May 02, 2009
    (User Info | Send a Message | Journal)



    Re: Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle (Score: 1)
    by Icarus on Wed, May 13, 2009
    (User Info | Send a Message | Journal) http://wkristophnolen.daportfolio.com/
    NOTE FROM AUTHOR...
    For sake of completeness: There was an editing gaff, and there was a line left out in the "rumors" section.   It should read as follows:

    •          A miner with a long drooping moustache and a man who bears the air of an adventurer discuss golden orbs buried nearby.  There is local talk that the Rhennee always hide the orbs that they steal in wooden chests in local coves and bays.  As the story goes, there are dozens of treasure hoards lying about.  That miner, a local scoundrel named Artemis Olver, will lead anyone who pays him a finder's fee to a false treasure chest he's planted just beyond the beach.  Once away from the cove, he will lead them to an otyugh’s lair, where they will find a small ship that was wrecked and washed into a small cave.  He will lead them toward an area that he believes will collapse and expose the otyugh, bringing it rushing out, though he will remain barely out of the way and find a way to flee during the attack.  After any survivors of the ambush have been subdued, he will return to split the loot with his partners.  Olver has been following this plan for a number of months and suspicion is beginning to fall on him.


    Not that it was necessarily bad with leaving it open for DM's to fill in (as was) but, I just thought it should be mentioned.

    Icarus



    Re: Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle (Score: 1)
    by Cebrion on Sat, June 27, 2009
    (User Info | Send a Message)
    Article edited.


    ]


    Re: Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle (Score: 1)
    by aurdraco on Wed, June 10, 2009
    (User Info | Send a Message) http://www.facebook.com/casey.brown
    I like the narrative voice of this submission and think it's an interesting way of presenting the setting to DMs. Well done!



    Re: Postfest X(Needfest 2009): The Laughing Turtle (Score: 1)
    by Argon on Sun, June 21, 2009
    (User Info | Send a Message)
    Its funny we where chating thursday and it peeked my interest solid submission. As I was reading your submission it reminded me of my Nossin the Meak submission a few years back. Similar style of presenting an article. Nice job I like the artwork as well and the romani influences are ever present.  Keep 'em coming  you may yet again inspire me to start submiting once again.




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