I have very hard topic to discuss, guys. Third time in one year my gaming group want to split over roleplaying issues. People taking they PCs roleplaying problems and argue, and they end friendships. As DM I feel twice wrong by this. Not only I must partake in friends conflict and probably choose sides, but also more and more I don’t want to run, afraid I will come to RP bickering, then lost next friend or colleague. And this all makes me more to just put RPGs out of my life for good. Because when each half or quarter a year you must quarrel with your ever-droping list of friends it’s not fun. :( Do you get same problems as I? How do you solve them?
The first thing I would establish is the fact that you'll our friends. The other thing is to say your playing the game to spend time with your friends. Nothing in the game should be taken so serious that it could cost a friendship. You would like to continue playing with your friends. However, if they feel the need to to argue excessively over something so trivial as a game, you'll just stop gaming altogether as your friendship is more important than the game your playing.
If everyone present is an adult this should not be an issue. However, I've come to experience that some people play the game because they feel like they are in control. When their control is challenged in the game where they feel secure and empowered. They often respond in an inappropriate way. This often has to do with a lack of power this person has in the real world. Which is one of the reasons they refuse to let go of these issues.
Like I said if the friendship has any true value then it should be easily amended.
The first thing I would establish is the fact that you'll our friends. The other thing is to say your playing the game to spend time with your friends. Nothing in the game should be taken so serious that it could cost a friendship. You would like to continue playing with your friends. However, if they feel the need to to argue excessively over something so trivial as a game, you'll just stop gaming altogether as your friendship is more important than the game your playing.
They are not arguing with me, per se, rather between themselves. And one side is my boyfriend, other is good colleages. They have in-character "party control" issue, that leads to open conflict.
Argon wrote:
If everyone present is an adult this should not be an issue. However, I've come to experience that some people play the game because they feel like they are in control. When their control is challenged in the game where they feel secure and empowered. They often respond in an inappropriate way. This often has to do with a lack of power this person has in the real world. Which is one of the reasons they refuse to let go of these issues.
Great, so problem is that gamers are control freaks. But how to solve this?
Argon wrote:
Like I said if the friendship has any true value then it should be easily amended.
Once more - what if groups are good collgeags? True frinedship groups now days are almost unheard of...
I encountered this same problem all the time back in my High School days because my friends and I were simply less mature people. We argued about issues in-game all the time and even got angry about it some times. However, we were all very good friends and we never broke up the gaming group until heading off to college.
I think it would be helpful for you to have a discussion with the entire group before the next session begins. Just point out that this is a game and it's great to have everyone role-play their characters well, but that when doing so causes the game to be un-fun, it is going too far.
You may decide that you need to speak to one or two of your players privately, instead, if they are the only ones causing the problem.
I agree with SirXaris and Argon, sit them down and discuss with them that their behavior during a game that is supposed to be fun and is anything but. And I can certainly sympathize with the want and need for a cohesive group of players as I went through 4 iterations until I settled on my current group of wonderful, smart players and weeded out the bad or problematic players.
After all, how do you expect a group to travel and cooperate in the deep dark recesses of the Amedio when you wouldn't share a pizza with them in real life? The game is about collaborative storytelling and that can't happen if everyone is at each others throats.
I find the best way to deal with problem player(s) is to design gameplay around collaborative effort. Along with "fun", it reallyis the building blocks an awesome game is built on. If they won't do this because of alignment or the characters/PCs wouldn't naturally get along, that might be your problem. Suggest that they all find common ground or there really is no point of playing. If Iggwilv could get along with the others in the Company of Seven, why can't they?
If you still have problems between actual personalities of your friends vs boyfriend, maybe somebody has to stop playing. You can stress this openly and seriously with them first, then move on to more subtle more manipulative ways to make them get along.
Never underestimate the power of snack food. Maybe you are playing during a time when everyone should be stuffing their faces while playing? Does Thrombil the halfling thief love organic kettle corn and it costs you $6 to make sure he's not mean to everyone? Buy it for him for the sake of play. My players love that I bring snacks that are fun, odd and delicious, plus I sometimes tie it into my game. It makes them feel special.
If this fails and you keep rolling a 1 while trying to get everyone on board, start looking over their PCs inventory. Did they get a weapon or magic item they love to use? Did they manage to take Dorshak Crane's estate from him and have him declared "dangerously insane" and put away? Great! You have things to use against them to make them behave. What can be given can be stolen, removed, or destroyed in game play. Periodically roll dice behind your DMs screen for no reason. Just smile and bat away any comments asking you what you are doing. Pickpockets, obscure laws in the City of Greyhawk, or bringing back an annoying villain to punish them are great ways to make them simmer down. Just like in real life, there are lessons to be learned through game play.
If all this fails and your problem player(s) have not worked out their differences or quit, give them an ultimatum: Work together or you won't run the game. It's that simple. It's not fun but sometimes people are too thick to understand what you, as the DM, get out of playing and sometimes it needs to be said. If they don't like it, tough. It's hard enough coming up with plot twists and challenges if they are too busy causing you grief with their personal melodramas.
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The game is about collaborative storytelling and that can't happen if everyone is at each others throats.
