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    Master Greytalker

    Joined: Apr 13, 2006
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    From: Frinton on Sea England

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    Sun Nov 25, 2007 1:06 pm  

    Now that's just totally unfair. I get misquoted using the word "silly", when I actually said surreal, and suddenly I'm public enemy number one with the faithful of Istus. Mort calls the entire exchange silly and he gets thanks. It's because I'm small isn't it. Well, I've had just enough of this. I've been threatened with Paladins; been told that I need an Atonement, and mentioned in the same sentence as, gasp, Eberron. Why don't you just go the whole hog and tell me that I was born in the Forgotten Realms. I've never been so insulted since the time I was asked (told) to join that annoying guild in The Free City.

    Well, I'm going to break into that tower. And I'm going to steal all their secrets and, what's more, I'm not going to tell any of youse lot what I find.

    Unless I'm threatened with something really painful.

    Whereupon, I might negotiate.
    Master Greytalker

    Joined: Jun 28, 2007
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    Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:26 pm  

    Now....Now....Ragr, it isn't that bad. I apologized for misunderstanding you...see my daddy's money didn't buy that great of an education. I'd hardly call you public enemy #1, you and I both know who that really is. By the way, I'm am glad to hear that you have accepted this quest. Will you be doing it alone or will you be in need of 7 other companions? Please be careful upon entering the infamous tower however, I hear that they have 4.5 edition robotic guards patrolling the hallways. Now I understand your upset...but really withholding information from your fellow Greyhawkers....that's just not right. What if you discover that Greyhawk City is next to vanish...you wouldn't tell us?

    I'm sorry to hear that you feel inadequate over your size. I'm sure with therapy you can overcome your shortcomings. Would you like me to schedule an appointment with the Guild of Adventure Inadequacies, I believe they have an office in Clerkburg, on University Street in Greyhawk City.

    I don't think it is really accurate to say that you were threatened by paladins, it was after all just one, and it wasn't really a threat at all. Maybe she just wanted to get her hands all over you. As far as that Atonement thing, well there must be something your feeling guilty about. Perhaps that "size issue" is manifesting because of some deeply buried guilt your holding inside.

    You weren't really born in the Forgotten Realms were you? Gosh, I had no idea, I'm sorry....more therapy? I thought you'd appreciate the Ebberon comment. After all, throw some headphones on, listen to your theme song on their lightning commuter train thingy and nobody would suspect that your actually a master rogue from Greyhawk. I noticed you dropped a name....thieve's guild...hmmm.... your not thinking about shaking down my temple now are you?

    I thanked Mort because he sent me that wonderful map a while back. By the way Mort, I followed your map and I couldn't find a single 5 star inn along the way. Some travel agent you turned out to be. I didn't realize I was getting the economy travel package deal. Next time let's upgrade to 1st class ok?

    You guys are to funny!
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
    Master Greytalker

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    Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:08 am  

    Work with a group of adventurers? Normally I'd have no qualms about working with others but lately I've noticed an alarming trend amongst adventurers; absolutely no sense of humour. The last mob I worked with tried to lynch me. My crime? Taking treasure on a "the amount of work done" basis. Without me they would still be outside. How do you halt a company of adventurers dead in their tracks? Put a mysterious door in front of them. Or, any door. So, thanks for the offer, Eileen, but I like my collar size as it is.

    4.5 robots? Bring it on. Bring on 10e for all I care. I've made it all the way from 1st and have the yellow character sheet to prove it. With lots of holes in from all the rubbing out I've had to do.

    You don't really think I'd hold out on you, do you? Greyhawkers, fear not.
    The secrets of the Tower of Self Importance shall be broadcast from the top of the Wizard's Guild as soon as I've pilfered them. And managed to find a way to the top of the Guildhall. Without being toasted by that Jalfrezi woman. Hmnn! Starting to get hungry.

    Your Paladin wants to get her grubby mitts on me? You know, once she's been turned to the dark side there's no way back into Heironeous' good books. Me like!

    Eberron sounds horrible. Hell on Oerth. Or Forgotten Realms as it's called around here.

    Must eat.......Fading away........Bring curry now.....
    Master Greytalker

    Joined: Jun 28, 2007
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    Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:32 am  

    You know, there is 6 hour time differance between us and I'm am still up posting here. I think I have a compulsive disorder. If you've really been around since 1st edition you should go back to Web Comic and check out my dragon analysis.

    Again, I'm suppose to be impressed?

    We know you wouldn't hold out on fellow Greyhawkers. You just like to talk tough.

    Since your uncertain how to find your way to the top of the Wizard's Guildhall, let me help you.

    Get a copy of the Expedition to the Ruins of Greyhawk, turn to page 89 and start reading. It will tell you exactly how to do it. Jeez....and I'm not even a rogue and I figured that out.

    So do you want to find out what the paladin looks like? If you do I can try and set it up for you. really I can. She's attractive, I think you'd like her.
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
    Master Greytalker

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    Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:06 am  

    I've got that supplement on my shelf gathering dust waiting to be read. Page 89 eh! Suckers.

    Your Paladin is beginning to sound a little scary. I think I'll pass.

    What do you mean by web comic? I'm obviously getting a little slow in my dotage.

    It's done, then. When page 89 is read, Ragr is going in. Beware, pen-pushing game designing types, the 'hawkers have a fearsome champion, and he brings upon you the fury that is stinging criticism. And what's more, he brings it direct to your lair, in the guise of a Halfling. 37lbs of pure vitriol and venomous contempt for your game tinkering ways.

    I just have to finish this sandwich.
    Master Greytalker

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    Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:27 am  

    So you getting old are you? Webcomic 3.0, the other thread we have beeen bantering on. Actually the paladin is pretty nice, I wasn't even being sarcastic when I offered to introduce you or when I said she was attractive, although she is quite a bit taller than you.

    So what kind of sandwich are you eating?

    In celebration of your finally getting off the tree and doing something, I came up with a little cheer for you.

    Who's the halfling with all the stealth....
    Ragr...Ragr....
    Who's the rogue with all your wealth?
    Ragr....Ragr....
    Who's the thief who will rob you blind....
    Ragr...Ragr....
    Who's the cutpurse you will never find....
    Ragr....Ragr...
    Who's that sneak who will always walk?
    Ragr....Ragr...
    Who's that burglar who will save the hawk?
    Ragr...Ragr...
    Yay.....Ragr.
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:02 pm  

    Roll over Beethoven, that tune is awesome. I can't get it out of my head. Even if it wasn't about me it would still be pretty cool.

    Have the Paladin say a prayer and smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast. (And if you know where I stole that line from I'll be impressed)

    It's toasted cheese with red peppers and chives. Er....The sandwich that is.

    Oh, Mort's webcomic thread. Doh!
    Master Greytalker

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    Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:29 pm  

    Sorry, once again I'm afraid I will have to disappoint you. I have no idea where you stole that line from. My bad. Somehow I don't think it was one of the hymns I learned at the church of Istus. Most regretfully, I have other duties to attend to so I shall be back for more witicisms later.

    Cheers!
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:33 pm  

    The less people know about where I steal lines from the better it is. I've had folks, er, quietened for less. That way I get to sound even more witty and charming than usual.

    Enjoy your rituals.
    Master Greytalker

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    Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:34 pm  

    So Ragr...how did it go. I see your back since you found time to start a new thread. Apparently you finished your sandwich, got off your tree or dead dragon or whatever it really was, infiltrated the Unsurmountable Tower of continous editions and made it back out.

    So did you use the official method presented on page 89 or did you improvise. I hope that the wizards don't have a copy of the Exp. book because if they do I'm guessing it was a lot more difficult that you expected.

    So what horrible traps, monsters, and spells did you encounter? Did you find the 4th edtion manuscript? Did you steal it, alter it, replace it with your own? Come on, we need to know. Lets here a factual account of your adventure!
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Wed Nov 28, 2007 1:32 am  

    Turbulent Prophet, quit yer yakking. Can't you see I'm trying to lurk quietly? Do you always want things done this quickly. An operation like this takes planning. There are tools to polish, weapons to sharpen, life insurance policies to update (you want raising with that, sir). Some of us can't just see the future, you know, we have to live it and take our chances.

    So, farewell my lovely tree, er, Dragon. I'm set fair for the Tower of Inescapable Profit. Pray for me 'hawkers.
    Master Greytalker

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    Wed Nov 28, 2007 4:13 am  

    Ummm.....you bring up a good point, ....wouldn't it be easier to just ask me how well you will do....before you go....ooops he already left. I was just about to tell him...well guess he'll find out for himself.
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:29 am  

    Eileen; fellow 'hawkers, I'm back.

    And, to my utmost shame, I have failed you all. I shall not be broadcasting this from the top of the Guildhall, though I've committed page 89 to memory.

    Getting into the Tower of Corporate Fluff was easy; how arrogant I thought, no guards, just a doorman called Ed. Naturally, Ed was easily bypassed.

    The tower has 7 levels. The first 6 were full of the minions of the Wizards. Shackled to desks and chewing on pens, no doubt dreaming of the death of our world and how to please their masters with cunning schemes. And the decor; a mind numbing, swirling vista of shades of beige. I barely kept my sanity in these lower levels.

    The doors were inscribed with strange glyphs spelling out words that i couldn't understand. Gleemax was one. Another seemed to say "Insider". The irony. I had never felt more like an outsider.

    The levels traversed, I came then to the uppermost portion of the tower. I had overhead the minions whisper of this level. The sanctum of the book, they called it. Their only desire seemed to be to "have some input into it's final incarnation".

    I crept into the chamber and, behold, upon a pedestal rested a leather bound volume. There were no traps, how careless these mighty Wizards. I perused the mighty tome, expecting great secrets and insight into the fate of my world but, the horror, I must've failed my Decipher Script. The words made no sense. Tiefling; surely they mean Halfling. Dragonborn; surely Gnome. Eladrin; what? Points of light; where? Gods, whose causes seemed horribly confused. And the notation in the margin seemed to consist of; first, take a smidgeon of Gh. Add a spoonful of FR. Then, a dollop of EB. Mix with other stuff, and ta dah! We'll have it. I moved through the book coming to a section called "The Rules". Aha! I thought . Here we have it. The crunch. Empty. Every page. Not a thing.

    At this point I felt a draught caress my neck and, turning, beheld the Master Wizard and 6 of his chief underlings. I knew he was the Big Wizard because of the beige epaulettes on his robes.

    "Who are you?" he boomed.

    "Ragr, of Greyhawk." I boomed back.
    "Sorry, where? he replied, meekly.
    "Greyhawk, that's right, pal," I triumphantly declared.
    He snapped his fingers, and a chair appeared, into which I was coerced by some sorcery. A cup of tea was placed in my hand, as the Wizard and his minions fussed around me, with downcast eyes and muttering "there, there".

    Some powerful charm was invoked upon me, because the next thing I know I'm leaving the tower. I glance back to find not only the Wizard, but all his henchman waving goodbye. All seemed to have tears in their eyes. I looked at the floor, overcome with sadness. When I raised my eyes again, they'd all gone. Back to the Tower, no doubt. Back to their world.

    A great weight was lifted off my shoulders then. And I returned to Greyhawk with a spring in my step and a smile in my heart, knowing this for sure. They may attack it, but they cannot destroy it. Because they seemed so, well, rubbish really.

    That is my tale. To the Tower. Oh! And back again.
    Master Greytalker

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    Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:26 am  

    Ummm...what I wanted to tell you is that Ed wasn't really all that harmless. If you look down, you'll notice your belt pouch is gone....

    I'm concerned, if everything happened the way you said it did....how do we know that you are the real Ragr and not some Simulacrum? Perhaps you sir are some sort of wicked spy sent to garner our secrets...First your masters steal our castle now they want.....?

    Is it possible that the real Ragr is dead? Perhaps being held prisoner by Ed? I think the real Ragr would have known where to put the Citadel by the Sea module, (see the Adventures for the Younger Gamer thread) only a farce would be so unfamiliar with the world so as to ask for help. Clearly a rescue mission must be launched....But where could we find adventurers brave enough?
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:38 am  

    Ed's just a guy whose name is missing a d and an a, and if he's got my purse I'll happily provide those letters.

    Simulacrum? Spy? Have you totally lost it, prophet? I've got "the real thing" tattooed on my soul. With your extraordinary powers of Divination surely you can tell the difference. By Brandobaris' nimble digits, I despair of the deceit and suspicion prevalent in the world today.

    As for asking for help; even an uber character like me needs to call on friends from time to time.
    Master Greytalker

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    Fri Nov 30, 2007 11:45 am  

    Well if you are planning a second assult, I offer my humble services. I'm not sure what I can do to help other than offer divination spells however. The cryptic divinations I receive take about a hour for my party to figure out in the game. I'm sure with your experience going all the way back to 1st edition we could figure them out within a half an hour.

    I'm certainly not much of a combatant. In fact I even have attack penalties due to lack of strength and a flaw from Unearthed Arcana. But none the less, I am no stranger to quests and danger. Just don't be suprised when I am standing behind you the whole time. Oh, and I tend to cry after I am forced to defend myself and slay another, and I also take time to do an After Battle Prayer as well. Did you see any giant bugs or troglodytes there? I am extremely scared of both. So what do you think? Need assistance?

    As far as being suspicious, we have not idea what that funny tea you were drinking did to you.
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Sat Dec 01, 2007 8:17 am  

    I'm not sure I need to go back. I honestly think I'm done with The Tower, and it's done with me. And, if we're lucky, it's done with all of us.
    Master Greytalker

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    Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:55 am  

    OK, thanks for the great conversation, quite entertaining!
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Sun Dec 02, 2007 1:02 pm  

    It's been a blast. When I said I'm done with The Tower, I meant financially. Wink
    If you find anything out with your Divinations and need to me infiltrate that haunt of edition meddlers to confirm anything, Ragr's ready to go. This time it's personal and I won't be partaking of any "peppermint" tea. And that Ed fellow owes me a purse. Full.

    It's good to know I've got a Prophet on my side. Cool

    See you elsewhere on the forums.
    Master Greytalker

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    Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:11 pm  

    Anytime your looking for me I will be standing behind you, so actually I think it's more like watching your back. Besides with you in the front I have time to brush my hair in between encounters.
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:19 am  

    Hey there, Prophet.

    You wanted more banter. Well, the mushrooms ran out so I thought it was time to plot my revenge on that purse filcher, Ed.
    So, off I went, back to the Tower Of Inestimable Hype. I moved stealthily, like only a cruelly wronged Halfling can. And came upon Ed, that scurvy dog, sitting at his guardpost reading a copy of The Complete Watchman, a supplement offering multiple character options for doormen of all types. Placing a small knife for peeling fruit against his smooth throat, I ushered him into a small closet and demanded the return of my purse and a full explanation for his filthy thieving ways. To my surprise, he explained that his real name was, in fact, Bob. And that he worked for a guy called Eric; I kid you not. You couldn't make this stuff up. Turns out Bob, you need to pay attention at this point, had been listening intently to conversations throughout the Tower Of Our Presentations Should Be Better Prepared and had secretly made notes and passed them on to his mysterious master. When pressed, well, slapped roughly a few times to be accurate, Bob revealed that all he knew was that the information was passed on to a creature called The Jason, who was compiling a mighty tome that would possibly capture the souls of those formerly in thrall to the Wizards'. I slapped Bob again at this point, I mean dark plans are all very interesting, but what I really wanted was my bleedin' purse back.
    "No, No, No," exclaimed Ed/Bob/Whatever. Turns out it was all a fiendish plan to draw me back to the Tower Of Ever Worsening Epithets so that I would be able to reveal the cunning plan to a select few worthies; that's you I guess, Prophet. Anyway, I reclaimed my purse, after checking its contents, slapped Bob a few more times-hey, it's the way of the world-and returned home. I did ask Bob if he wasn't afraid that the Wizards Of The Beige Mantle may exact a terrifying revenge upon him and his mysterious masters but it turns out that they've all signed a life long non-intervention contract or some such. I don't pretend to understand such corporate obfuscations but it sure smells like some-ones' a sucker.

    So, here I am, purse retrieved, feet up in front of a nice warm fire, just waiting to see which side looks the strongest. And then? Time to make a plan. Then a contingency. Followed by an escape clause (technical term for a mid-conflict positional adjustment; that's changing sides if you're Italian. No offence meant Laughing ).

    Mmnnn! Bacon sandwich. Cool
    Master Greytalker

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    Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:26 am  

    Ragr wrote:
    Hey there, Prophet. You wanted more banter. Well, the mushrooms ran out so I thought it was time to plot my revenge on that purse filcher, Ed.


    So basically you came out of your comatose state. I have readily warned you about those mushrooms. Greyhawk City is not a safe place to be purchasing (acquiring) such additives. In all of our travels, have you not learned to pass on getting such things wholesale or occasionally picking these plants in the local dungeon. (Sigh!)

    Quote:
    So, off I went, back to the Tower Of Inestimable Hype. I moved stealthily, like only a cruelly wronged Halfling can. And came upon Ed, that scurvy dog, sitting at his guardpost reading a copy of The Complete Watchman, a supplement offering multiple character options for doormen of all types. Placing a small knife for peeling fruit against his smooth throat, I ushered him into a small closet and demanded the return of my purse and a full explanation for his filthy thieving ways. To my surprise, he explained that his real name was, in fact, Bob. And that he worked for a guy called Eric; I kid you not. You couldn't make this stuff up.


    So you returned to the Tower of Complete Splatbook Production, good for you. My only complaint is that you didn't take me with you. You said "It is good to know I have a Prophet at my side". My guess is you took the first hussy you could find from the local tavern. Mad Somehow I doubt Ed was reading the book, but most likely just looking at the pictures. Perhaps he was admiring the wonderful hand crafted drawings of what Greyhawk doesn't look like. Or perhaps the book went into full explanation of how doorman dragonborn have (ahem) large mammary glands. Anyway, excellent work, you found him, aproached with the necessary 3.5 skills you have acquired, and threatened him with your little plastic picnic knife.

    Quote:
    Turns out Bob, you need to pay attention at this point, had been listening intently to conversations throughout the Tower Of Our Presentations Should Be Better Prepared and had secretly made notes and passed them on to his mysterious master.


    Now, if I understand you correctly, he clearly gave in to your demands for information after a brutal beating, and then you discovered he is working for the good guys.

    Quote:
    When pressed, well, slapped roughly a few times to be accurate, Bob revealed that all he knew was that the information was passed on to a creature called The Jason, who was compiling a mighty tome that would possibly capture the souls of those formerly in thrall to the Wizards'. I slapped Bob again at this point, I mean dark plans are all very interesting, but what I really wanted was my bleedin' purse back.
    "No, No, No," exclaimed Ed/Bob/Whatever. Turns out it was all a fiendish plan to draw me back to the Tower Of Ever Worsening Epithets so that I would be able to reveal the cunning plan to a select few worthies; that's you I guess, Prophet.


    So then you slapped the good guy up some more? Ragr, this is how villains in Greyhawk are made. You know, they start at the bottom, working for some shmuck. Then some high and mighty adventurer (or in your case short, but higher than you use to be come 4th edition) comes around, slaps them up for the heck of it, and KABOOM instant recipe for iconic Greyhawk villain. Confused Great, now in about 3 generations your grandkids are going to have to undo all your handywork by slaying BOB, the Lich Formerly Known as ED, who lost his head with Ragr's plastic picnic knife. We are suppose to be cleaning up this World of Greyhawk, not insure the slavery of millions in the 8th edition adventure entitled The Return to the Return of What Use to be The Tomb of Horrors.

    Quote:
    No, No, No," exclaimed Ed/Bob/Whatever. Turns out it was all a fiendish plan to draw me back to the Tower Of Ever Worsening Epithets so that I would be able to reveal the cunning plan to a select few worthies; that's you I guess, Prophet.


    Well I truly appreciate being considered worthy of such vital information. I do have one significant concern however. I have done my own research, and it seems that the Tower of Doom Grinder Backturning has unhatched an evil plot which will bring about the final destruction of Greyhawk, shortly before the 4th edition release.

    http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/drfe/20080318a

    Together, we must prepare for the journey for there is much to do. Using my contacts, I think I can get us there with minimal difficulty. Now, you of coarse must keep this highly sensitive information to yourself, for I am about to reveal my travel agent. He is our one and only Mort. He once provided me with a map to Ull. I did request a list of 5 star taverns along the way however, and he had the nerve to tell me to "rough it". Commoners! But, seeing the importance of this quest, I am certain that we can persuade him to provide such a document for us as well as suitable lodging for an upper class person such as myself.

    Quote:
    So, here I am, purse retrieved, feet up in front of a nice warm fire, just waiting to see which side looks the strongest. And then? Time to make a plan. Then a contingency. Followed by an escape clause (technical term for a mid-conflict positional adjustment; that's changing sides if you're Italian. No offence meant Laughing ). Mmnnn! Bacon sandwich.


    So while I'm preparing this monumental quest of sorts before The Tower of "They Who Lost the OGL/GSL in the Mailbox" can wrought absolute anarchy upon our beloved Greyhawk, you think you have time to put your feet up by a warm fire, eat a bacon sandwich, and lolygag at the girls no doubt. Tomorrow we shall ready the caravan of 20 wagons and carts, 52 beasts of burden, 86 turkeys, 97 guardsmen, 12 pink and purple umbrellas, a random encounter generator stolen from DI so we know when and what the encounters will be, as well as being armed with the most famous Complete Book of Defeating Tharizdun wannabees, along with my favorite halfling, we shall journey to where ever Mort's map leads us. Until, then move over. And put some shoes on, didn't you read the signon the wall it says "No shirt, no shoes, no service."

    By the way, are you getting use to boating these days? Oh and look at the cute little shoes Ragr's wearing.

    http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/drdd/20080208a
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    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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    Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:59 am  

    Well now, you know I would have called you to come on the mission but I, er, well I ermm....I heard there were Trogs! That was it! Happy

    And it could have got violent (did, actually). And as you know, you being a bastion of morality, there's good violence and then there's yer bad violence. And, if something good comes out of it, y'know like information or treas....er, I mean godly rewards, then it's good violence, right? Damn these moral mazes. Now it wasn't exactly a "brutal beating", more "lively cajoling" with an open palm. You gotta be accurate, Prophet. And I didn't see any evidence to support the idea that he was a "good guy"; after all he was a spy. That sounds a fairly dubious occupation to me.

    On a different subject. So the choice is a) Big T destroys the world,
    b) Move to Ull.

    I'm sorry, I don't see a choice there. Why not just sit in the pub and wait for the devastation to come to you. 45 Days of hardship later the conversation goes something like;
    "We're here."
    "Where?"
    "Ull."
    "Oh!"
    "Do you like it?"
    "Do I like WHAT?"
    Shocked

    As we know swearing is not allowed on CF. So I'm not going to fall into the trap of your feeble attempt to goad me, by posting that link to the April Fools come early mock Halfling backstory laugh-athon on Wotc's site.

    See, I'm not bothered.

    Not at all.

    Calm.

    $&66^RYT$%T%Y%TYERU^U^HYTRUHYRHTRHR%^$^TBTERB%Y^%$(*^&^$^$^$^%$&^%UJ^J%YJ%YJY%J. Mad Mad Mad
    Master Greytalker

    Joined: Jun 28, 2007
    Posts: 725
    From: Montevideo, Minnesota, US

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    Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:00 pm  

    Hmmm....that's funny, you just said:

    Ragr said:
    Quote:
    And I didn't see any evidence to support the idea that he was a "good guy"; after all he was a spy. That sounds a fairly dubious occupation to me.


    Quote:
    It's been a funny week. Having had a couple of conversations with my 2 regular players it seems both are in favour of adopting 4e but adapting it to our needs. I was a little surprised I have to say, but the point was made that this could mean less work overall. This was, of course, prior to Paizo's announcement, which was certainly well received by me.


    Uh...huh.....according to the above quote of the day, you and the "spy" are apparently working on the same side. He works for Paizo, you stated that the Paizo news was well received by YOU. Do you deny that you made these statements? Perhaps I misunderstood your statement above. So now your implying that the spy isn't a good guy when clearly you and he are working together. That good sir, makes you guilty by association. Which in turn doesn't make you a very nice guy either. I think you should stop by my temple for a little one on on confession of the soul. Together, we shall open that closet of skeletons and purge you of the evils that lie within. If that doesn't work, we can always beat you half to death like you did to your good buddy BOB.

    Quote:
    Well now, you know I would have called you to come on the mission but I, er, well I ermm....I heard there were Trogs! That was it!


    Well, were there troglodytes there or not? Sounds like you just trying to give me the brush off so you could walk away with more of your treas....er! I'll have you know that I dedicated any portions of the gains I would have acquired to the local orphanage. Seems there is this little place down thes street called The Little Homeless Halflings of Hawkville. They are greatly depending upon the trinkets people like you and I bring in in order to keep their doors open. Next week the government says they are going to close the doors if their back taxes aren't paid.

    Quote:
    And it could have got violent (did, actually). And as you know, you being a bastion of morality, there's good violence and then there's yer bad violence. And, if something good comes out of it, y'know like information or treas....er, I mean godly rewards, then it's good violence, right? Damn these moral mazes. Now it wasn't exactly a "brutal beating", more "lively cajoling" with an open palm. You gotta be accurate, Prophet.


    So once again you raise your hand in violence. Fight violence with more violence....hmmm....interesting philosophy! Now were trying distinguish good violence from bad violence? Seems to me your just looking for a reason to stab your buddy BOB in the back and take his ill gotten gains. Now I know for a fact that you beat him brutally. You see BOB came to me with a mere 2 hp left out of a maximum of 81, and said that the Great Ragr beat him mercilessly, over and over. He says you even kicked his visiting grandmother in the shin and stole her purse. I cast Detect Lie and discovered that he was telling the truth. So tell me, why did you kick his grandmother in the shin and steal her purse? Don't you think that was a bit excessive?

    Quote:
    On a different subject. So the choice is a) Big T destroys the world,
    b) Move to Ull.

    I'm sorry, I don't see a choice there. Why not just sit in the pub and wait for the devastation to come to you.


    So you would rather sit in the tavern, spend grandma's money, send the orphanage out of business....just for a drink or two? Meanwhile the forces of Tharizdun come crashing down upon the Flanaess in hordes like which the world has never seen before. I can practically hear the cries of pain and death wave across the Flanaess as millions of innocent people die just so you can have one more drink at your favortite watering hole. So all the time and expense I went through to get the caravan of 20 wagons and carts, 52 beasts of burden, 86 turkeys, 97 guardsmen, 12 pink and purple umbrellas, a random encounter generator stolen from DI so we know when and what the encounters will be, as well as being armed with the most famous Complete Book of Defeating Tharizdun wannabees, was for nothing, because you don't want to go?

    Shhhhhh.......do you hear that....that was little Johnny screaming "Oh Mr. Cleric of Tharizdun please don't drop me into that black hole of absolute death and suffering....No please...not my little sister....Oh, no, there goes her little puppy Happy Paws, he once saved by feeble grandfather from a terrible orc attack back in 91 while grandpa was travelling uphill both ways in the dead of winter, barefoot, just so he could deliver Solace presents to my deathly ill mother.

    Quote:
    As we know swearing is not allowed on CF. So I'm not going to fall into the trap of your feeble attempt to goad me, by posting that link to the April Fools come early mock Halfling backstory laugh-athon on Wotc's site.

    See, I'm not bothered.

    Not at all.

    Calm.

    $&66^RYT$%T%Y%TYERU^U^HYTRUHYRHTRHR%^$^TBTERB%Y^%$(*^&^$^$^$^%$&^%UJ^J%YJ%YJY%J.


    If it didn't bother you, then why were you WEARING SHOES, ON A BOAT? Clearly you have caved under the pressure of 4th edition. I also noticed that the raft was travelling in the opposite direction of the Tharizdun threat. I think you should give your little bath tub toy to the orphanage.

    By the way did you know that $&66^RYT$%T%Y%TYERU^U^HYTRUHYRHTRHR%^$^TBTERB%Y^%$(*^&^$^$^$^%$&^%UJ^J%YJ%YJY%J in Ancient Baklunish means that Eileen, Prophet of Istus is always right and I am her personal servant until the ends of time? It's true, it really does. So I appreciate the loyalty on your part. I do believe your first duty shall be to give me a manicure! Happy
    _________________
    Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
    Master Greytalker

    Joined: Apr 13, 2006
    Posts: 654
    From: Frinton on Sea England

    Send private message
    Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:52 am  

    My poor, deluded, cloistered Prophet. You really must get out more often. Next time you're passing wherever I've laid my hat, pop in for a lesson from the University of Life. The School of Street. The College Of Reality. Working for a "common cause" is not "being on the same side". Tut, tut.

    Of course they were Trogs. Ugly, pale and distinctly ripe. Definitely Trogs. Or gamers, of course.

    Now, I'm an equal opportunities Halfling, so if those lazy sods at The Little Homeless Halflings' whatever are too useless to seize, and I mean seize, the moments presented to them by the great inattentive then they deserve all they get. Don't come to me waving that charity box around, 'cause I'll send you home with an empty container for a helmet. Mad

    Bob had 81 hp Shocked. In the words of the great Doppleganger, "I'm bad, I'm bad. Y'know it."

    And that was Bob's grandmother? Heck! I thought it was Iggwilv. Laughing No wonder the purse was a little light.

    I have no problem with little Johnny's wailing, but all your blathering is depressing the hell out of me. So, if you promise to stop hectoring me I'll come to Ull. But it had better be worth it. I don't want to hear nothing about soul cleansing.

    I can do manicures. No problem. You said you wanted those nails short, right?
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